AS much as I hate drama, sometimes peoples selfishness arrives on your doorstep. And sometimes when you have had enough, you talk about it. Today is going to be one of those days 🙂
I had a very interesting message sent to me via a fake Flickr account yesterday, its content stating what a bad person I was. Apparently and I quote from Sh****z134 ( I won’t put full names out for gentlemanly reasons), that I was in no certain words ” An Ahole for fighting with a great pillar of the SL photo community and that I should stop posting my work, that nobody likes what I do and my photos are …” well I won’t repeat the rest 😛
To this point now I am pretty angry but I am composing myself. I should in all respects give this person no real serious thought but after a year of pretty horrible actions towards my person, I have decided to go public and put an end to it. Simply because I am tired of being portrayed as some low life villain. So now is the time to put some home truths down and end this issue once and for all. Am I worried about doing this, yeah I am . I know a few people will be very upset over what I have to say, but I don’t feel its right to say nothing and sit in silence over something that affects another. So here goes!!
Before I start, lets get this urban myth out. YES… It is of no secret that I have a long running feud with another SL kid on Flickr who is in all context, is far more popular with the adult community than any other SL kid in Second Life. This feud has been going on for a good year and a half and does not look as if it will repair itself, certainly not with me until there is some honesty spilled in the matters pertaining to its very conception and thereafter. It was not always like this, we were once reasonably good friends. Things do change however and although friendships can overcome so many obstacles, there is only so much it can take when it can become a step too far. And this is where the problems stemmed. So before more hate mail starts pouring in, I would like the opportunity to tell my side of the story. Because whatever is flying around is grossly exaggerated and very one sided. So if I may be allowed, I would like to clear some matters up so 2016 is not as bad as 2015 was.
This beginning of said feud started (not by me), but some guy (who later manifested to be a friend of the person I do not get on with) who decided it would be a great idea to highlight one persons work over another. To be clearer on this issue, to highlight someone elses work over mine. Normally its cool to bring up similarities in people, especially if they are good. I don’t mind sharing a stage with someone, in fact I think its very flattering. What I had issues with was the way it was executed, as this mystery blog commentator had no real interest over what I was creating, he had never liked my pictures before or after. I found it a little too suspicious and too calculated for it to be a spontaneous remark. I also felt reading between the lines, that the message was pretty clear as to more or less imply “Jordy’s photo is ok , they are similar (ie they are kids) but I like this one person better, have you seen his work yet?”.
Admittedly It was not the best of work, compared to some people I look up to on Flickr It put my stuff to shame. Somehow I like to think I put some effort in. Also if I receive an award for something, I am proud someone else likes it. Of course my suspicions were already confirmed, as the said commentator months later started offering the other person opportunities and yes you guessed it… I was still sitting on my own learning photo programs. Perhaps I was not good enough and that was ok, but it sure was a low down punch. Especially as I really don’t hold kudos or influence to warrant an intervention as that. After that I felt really used, to the point I broke contact with said SL kid who was being advertised. Why… ? Because I know for sure that no matter if I asked for an explanation, nothing would change. I would have been fed some excuse that nobody knew anything and it just happened. Things rarely happen without a reason in my book.
The other factor, well I thought the person had changed. He was certainly very charming to the right people yet smug to his kid friends at the attention he was getting. I don’t look for that and I certainly don’t expect my friends to do that. Then it all moved on to me becoming a threat, someone to over throw his place and having some as he put it” master plan to hurt him”. It was total nonsense, because in the end he was worried someone was creating decent enough pictures, a kid avatar and this apparently this = threat. In my own mind the real reason was I am an old account kid, that he wanted to trash anything that was related to his past away from what he deems “his world”.
It was not easy, it’s never easy letting friends go and I felt bad about it. We had both come from very similar backgrounds, we wanted more for ourselves, far more then the SL kids community at the time could offer us. We had a bit of spirit bonding, so it was never all bad . I had supported and took his side when he was having difficulties with another family and much more besides. I thought we had a bit of a bond, but in hindsight we did not. Where it broke was how we differ in how we value things and people of our past, in that respect we are chalk and cheese. But one thing you never do is allow your friends to be overstepped, even by people wishing you to succeed somewhere. If that happens, then its not a friendship at all and you simply become a pawn in some game.
And it is here that I now fully understand why the kid community (mostly among boys with older accounts) REALLY thinks about him, but to make a little point I will. Most kids just have to have to mention the debacle of SL5B and a certain name crops up continually in negativity. Mostly with an undercurrent of similar behavior mentioned of which I will go into further. For sure none us are angels, some really take more than their fair of the cookies when the jar is handed round. Kids back then were mad on power and some people craved it. Some older accounts still do and some will go out of the way to trap other kids, report them for nothing more than power. It can be quite toxic, sharks in a very small pool, some really cold and cheap tactics going on and trust issues are rife. It is not the ideal place people make it out to be. I have several kid friends who actually bought a sim to live on, they rarely go out to kid clubs etc because they they are fully switched on how it is.
Now as of SL5b and what other kids told me in the past, I now have had to experience some of the manipulation that possibly saturated in there by said person. One of which having my name pretty much slandered to various creators,magazines and even other people, so they wouldn’t touch me with a barge pole. Lord knows the pile of nonsense he fed on me to make me look so bad ( yes that info was leaked by a reliable source). He blew a tantrum when I appeared at a party hosted in a set of sims, just appearing innocently at a party. He more or less started a long winded story as I was “Out to hurt him and treading on his homelands” and so demanded I was banned. In short using other people to do his dirty work, with little other evidence other than hearsay and one sided stories. That is until people are turning on each other, while he I may add… sits trying to look innocent. Pretty unfair and highly unjustified but this is nothing new, it’s history repeating itself. Yeah SL5B all over again, it takes an old school kid to know an old school kid and that’s all to say on that.
If that was not enough , I have been banned from several Flickr groups by this person misusing his position as a guest moderator. His reasons being justified as by” being a moderator, it is my prerogative to ban people who are out to hurt me”. Imagine if someone blew your entire work on Flickr groups in less than 5 minutes, obliterated in an “out of sight and out of mind” context, no explanation to why, not even telling the other moderators or the owner of the group why. Not only is that selfish but its totally evil. It’s also not about art or creativity either. It’s about issues and hidden agendas, misusing a position to destroy people over problems manifested by themselves. What is equally amazing is that because of said feud, I seem to get the flack among some people of being the worst kid on the grid. I don’t think this is very fair or correct.
Now after coming face to face with actual malicious text from mystery people, what really irks me more is that other people get involved (not the first time I may add). When this happens it becomes a platform of unequal tactics, more seriously a very hidden form of Cyber Bullying. If you read the definition of cyberbully, you get a myriad of certain traits that one or others can manipulate to get what they want. This goes all the way from exclusion (which I have experienced), all the way to working to intimidate, put down, falsely discredit, or humiliate a person. In Second Life, there should be no place for that. If you had asked me a year ago if Cyberbullying is apparent in the SL Flickr community, I would have trashed the notion. After being subjected to it now and having more information on why and where the anger lies, I am more in tune to say it exists. So at this point I would like to say to all the adoring fans of this person I am feuding with is this…
I am not trash, nobody on SL Flickr is trash. No art is bad either, it is subjective to everyone. For my own pictures, the fun I have is creating them. I don’t have many freebies thrown at me to blog apart from the ones that some very cool people have given me (someone already has cut that opportunity for me many times over). Instead I feed money back into the SL economy and thus aid other creators to make more things, I feature things I like the look of and enjoy. So no, I won’t stop creating stuff I enjoy and appreciate.
My interests aim to give the kid community things to be proud of, I help people when I can and I like creating and building. I don’t get handouts, I don’t get leg-ups to do what I do. I don’t have tons of very influential friends handing over everything while I sit there coasting on my influence to get it. I work really hard and as a reward, I get amazing advice from some really good friends when I am stuck and some very loyal people in my life. I even suggest some great bloggers on Flickr to other creators, to feature new creations in photos. I try open networks for people and passing opportunities where I think people would do great partnerships. I do all of this without belonging to any club, group or particular social circle. That is my lot… I am a simple, ordinary, run of the mill SL kid who likes to do more in his SL world. So why all the flack and how come after all that, that I am so very bad ??
Well to start I guess he feels he has nothing to lose, top of his game and everyone taking his word as gospel. I am nothing in the grand scheme of things, he can do what he likes be it manipulative or not and simply hide behind a myriad of people. To be honest I don’t know the real intentions, I only know of the backlash. But I just want to say, after everything I have experienced. The question I want to ask is this…
For all the atmosphere surrounding someone so innocent and so apparently sweet. Is this really the behavior and nurturing environment that befits the appearance of a homely 7/ 8 year old boy?
I think not. We are not really children, we are mere reflections of children. What controls us are adults and this is the point. This is not kid related thoughts in any way or form, people need to stop buying into that and seeing what goes on from a better perspective. Take the kid form away and its an adult, sorry but it is. And if an adult was doing something malicious to hold another back over some personal reason, whispering behind closed doors to make another look less credible, be it against a friend, a relative or a loved one or yourself. You would not stand for it and I am not standing for it.
I have met some pretty nice people through Flickr, that keeps me going and puts faith in a great community. Some people I like are associated with this person, it don’t bother me if they are. I see people for who they are and not who they friend with but I respect boundaries, something I cannot say for the other party. I slowly get more opportunities to take part in things as I go and that to me is the best, it’s a challenge to prove myself and work on things and really exciting. Unfortunately some people choose to spoil that by creating barriers, that is life i guess. But when it comes to people threatening you, calling you all sorts of names and not having the fairness to be upfront, it becomes a very different story.
Am i upset about it,not because what someone will say about me (I take that with a pinch of salt). What I do worry about is the negativity that manifests in what should be an enjoyable environment and hobby. It is not a competition, yet some may believe it to be so. More importantly though is if such actions are not talked about, things will never change and get better for everyone in the long run.
And as for the person in question, if you are reading this I want to say this much. I am sorry it has to come to this, but really enough is enough. If you are smarting over me not talking to you etc, then you know there are steps you can do to make it right. All you have to do is the right thing and be honest about a few things, sort the wrongs and be seen to solving them in the morally correct way. I won’t tell you what they are, you know yourself. Flickr and SL in general is an amazing place to see what people think is unseen, people don’t always hide clique mentality well especially when its been manipulated. I will let you think on what I mean by that. But creating the atmosphere as you have done was bad from the beginning, you know it and I know it. If your bothered about our situation as you clearly are, do something positive to solve it rather than the negative you have been up to. Then things might change.
So yeah… i’m going to take a long drive, overdose on root beer and a giant cookie and put it down to experience.